Self-Care

I, like many of you, have been placed in many different roles and have had to wear many different hats in the past 10 weeks. I have continued to be a mother and caretaker (although it looks somewhat different these days) while homeschooling my children, making 3 meals a day, cleaning, and maintaining my private practice. This pandemic has made me closer to my little family of 4 than I ever could have imagined. We are together ALL the time! As a mental health professional I understand the notion and importance of self-care. So, why was I doing it all wrong?? I was so consumed with everything going on in the world and trying to keep us physically and mentally healthy that I neglected my own need for time alone. I continued to tell myself that emptying the dishwasher or doing the dishes while my kids worked on school or a craft or watched TV was suffice. So what if my 6 year old walked in the bathroom EVERY time I was in the shower? She eventually left and I got to shower alone. And what about the time my husband and I have to ourselves after the kids (finally) go to sleep? The time we can collapse on the couch without having to tend to the children. The time of day I can just sit. Except that's not what self-care is about. It's not about being alone, or emptying the dishwasher as a break from homeschooling the kids. It's about refilling your tank. Making sure you are not on empty. Refueling yourself. It is not selfish. It's necessary for your own mental and physical well being as well as helping you feel ready to take care of others. If your tank is empty you are not able to take care of yourself let alone your family.

I went on a run last week for the first time in a long time. I came home and my husband asked how it was and the only word I could think of was "freeing." I told him my run had made me feel free. It was at that moment I realized my alone time was not helping me refuel. It was not the time I needed to take care of myself and reduce the stress and ongoing worries of what will be during this uncertain time we face.

This is a time like no other. We have never experienced anything like this and it is normal to have worries and stress and feelings of uncertainty. Make sure you take care of yourself. Reach out if you need someone to talk to. Go for a run, or bike ride, or walk, do yoga, meditate, call or face time someone you love and make sure its uninterrupted time. DO YOU! Take the notion of self care seriously; we are of no help to ourselves or others if we are depleted.